Over the summer (while on my bloggy break), Little Miss completed her tenth and final Wonder Weeks Leap.
It felt so momentous. After sixteen months, we had finally come to the end of our Wonder Weeks journey.
What the hell was I going to do without the app!?
But before we get too caught up in the wasteland of leaplessness, let’s quickly cover off what went on in Leap 10.
Sadly, Leap 10, ‘Systems’, hit the weekend Little Miss and I went to Italy to visit my dad, during the heatwave (38 degrees and counting), in a house with no air conditioning or pool……..
Having mastered ‘Principles’ in Leap 9, Leap 10 is all about your toddler’s choice. Choosing to be good, helpful, gentle or rough, patient… or not. And as you progress through Leap 10, your toddler basically learns (chooses) that the only system they fancy abiding by is “the system of me“.
In Leap 9 she realised Daddy and I were different people, different entities. In Leap 10, she masters the concept or ‘you’ and ‘me’, ‘us’ and ‘them’ and boy did Little Miss roll with it. The word, “mine,” came pretty quickly and she would actively exclude either the Other Half or me depending on the activity and her mood.
So how would I sum up Leap 10?
I’m pretty sure all Little Miss thought was, “I WANT POWER!”
But let me elaborate;
- Me and my body
– I have control over my body and things around me.
– I can do it myself (Little Miss made this clear at every opportunity – and still does).
– I have my own will (I think Little Miss discovered this one a bit earlier than Leap 10).
– I can decide for myself.
- Naughty at will, just for kicks (tick…)
- Your child can console (pleasant silver lining to this leap that actually shone through pretty early on as Little Miss ‘pat pat pat’ – even if aggressively – when we hurt ourselves or appeared sad).
- Understands the concept of the extended family and asks about Grandma/Grandpa (yep).
- Understands rules of what belongs to whom (and ignores them…..).
- Creates drawings that represent something in the real world (this has only just recently appeared at 20 months – they look nothing like Daddy, but she insists that’s what she’s drawing).
- Shows an impressive increase in language comprehension and starts to speak more (/ talk back).
And shock horror, but what does the app say? We must all know it by now… There’ll be more crying, more clinginess and more crankiness.
Interestingly, the app also notes that toddlers may have nightmares from this age. Depending on what you read, this could be disputed as apparently they don’t have the imagination until much later for nightmares. However, I disagree. I think Little Miss does indeed have nightmares and since around sixteen months. Whether it’s based on something she’s seen that or imagination is a different question, but we had many nights with Little Miss screaming like I’ve never heard before, gripping your clothes when you went through to her and then screaming again, tears streaming if you left her. That to me could only be explained by nightmares.
The app also warns;
The conflicts and arguments are more intense than ever during this fussy period.
Alas, I can confirm. Little Miss became more like Little Madam, and though on the whole her usual pleasant temperament has returned since then, there is a definite Little Madam streak to her now that wasn’t there prior to Leap 10.
And that’s it. We’re done! The Wonder Weeks is no more for us.
Since it ended, I have missed it. I’ve felt a bit lost at times if Little Miss is having a particularly bad day or week. I find myself reaching for my phone going to check if she’s started a leap then remembering that won’t be the case. She’s just being a toddler.
But we’re muddling through. She’s started nursery, which has helped use up most of her excess energy, meaning our time together is usually more enjoyable as she’s no longer bored with me.
But still, if anyone has any recommendations for books or guidance through the fast approaching Terrible Twos (a step by step guide like The Wonder Weeks would be preferable if possible), then please do let me know. I’m all ears!
See more Finding Our Feet The Wonder Weeks posts.