In December, I wrote about the joyous experience that was a poo in the bath. A special little gift Baby Girl had been holding back for nine months, specially for Christmas. I even awarded myself a Mama Badge for it – like brownie badges, but for parents, for those special, rite of passage moments.Well. She’s not holding back any more! I don’t know what’s happened but suddenly a poo in the bath is a regular occurrence. No one, not my mom, not our NCT tutor, not the Other Half’s cousins with two under 2s, no one, not one person told us about this dirty little secret of parenting.
The saddest part for us is, Baby Girl doesn’t bath in the baby bath anymore. She’s in the big bath as she is balanced enough to sit safely & loves to splash around. So now, not only is Baby Girl’s bath pooey, but our’s too.
Last night was the worst so far though. I was flying solo as The Other Half was out on his boys’ night (jammy [insert rude word]). Do I deal with Baby Girl or the bath first?
Bath. I scooped Baby Girl out, placed her on the bath mat (now in the wash) & turned back to the bath. No. Wait. I should hose her down first before she starts trying to lick her fingers or something.
Off to the shower.Never having had a shower before, she thought the whole thing was a hilarious game, trying to catch the water and playing with the shampoo bottles. Great. No doubt she’s thinking, “I’ll poo in the bath every night so I can go to the jet stream thing again. Excellent!” No!!
Wrapped in a towel. Struggled into a diaper. Wrestled into PJs. Plonked in front of In The Night Garden. Usually, I don’t like her watching TV without me or the OH watching with her. I feel less guilty about letting her watch TV if we’re talking through what she’s watching, asking questions – suddenly it’s a family activity… sort of…) But tonight needs must.
By the time I got back to the bath it was a mess. Let’s just say solids aren’t solid when left soaking in water. And leave it at that. I can appreciate that even the most seasoned of parents reading have already read far too much about poo for one day. I’ll even save you from the photo footage, which I do have.
I returned to the living room to retrieve Baby Girl; tired & wanting her bottle. Only there were no bottles. We’d had a old friend visiting in the afternoon & we’d forgotten to fill the bottles. Cue 15 minutes of crying whilst I boil the kettle, cool it down, etc etc, all the while Baby Girl sobbing, wailing, head thrown back, nose streaming, clawing and my legs as though her world was coming to an end.
How the hell after nearly 11 months did we forget to fill the bottles!? Talk about rookie error. I’ve had better Saturday evenings, it has to be said.
To any single mums out there; you have my sympathy & my respect. After just two hours, I was ready to collapse.
Now, how many times do you think one can award themselves the same Mama Badge? Because I feel I’ve well & truly earned the Poo Bath badge now.