Pregnancy is…

  1. A roller coaster of emotions that you have absolutely no control over.
  2. Never sleeping through the night again & discovering a new level of exhaustion.
  3. Pain. In your hips, your head, your back, your knees, your feet, your heels, your neck, your stomach muscles, your uterus muscles, your boobs, your pelvis – everywhere. At one point or another.
  4. Being fed up of something, pretty much all the time.
  5. Learning to love Gaviscon.
  6. Eating more healthily than you ever have before.
  7. Catching yourself feeling like a 5 year old on Christmas Eve waiting for Santa on a regular basis. (Then furiously touching wood the baby won’t actually come early!)
  8. Reaching 9 months & wishing the baby would come early so this will end.
  9. Crying at TV adverts. Crying at arguments. Crying because you’re happy. Crying & not knowing why.
  10. Looking at newborn clothes & feeling a mixture of fear & excitement – I’ll be left in charge of something this small?!
  11. Suddenly becoming public property to friends, family, colleagues & strangers alike. You no longer are entitled to personal space. Your stomach is no longer your own
  12. The comfort of feeling your baby move, letting you know he’s still there & well.
  13. Feeling like Segawni Weaver in Alien on multiple occasions.
  14. Being fat.
  15. Hating being fat. (Then feeling guilty for hating the way your baby makes you look.)
  16. Worrying about something pretty much all the time.
  17. Eating something your not supposed to, realising & not knowing whether to spit it out or just enjoy the moment. (And of course, feeling guilty about it.)
  18. Not allowing your other half to have the heating on even in the dead of winter because you’re so hot – all the time.
  19. Being utterly irrational 90% of the time.
  20. Looking at your bank account after just one month of pregnancy & realising how much you usually spend on alcohol.
  21. Looking at your bank account after three months of pregnancy & realising how much you must usually spend on clothes.
  22. Looking at your bank account after you’ve bought all the baby stuff & realising you’ll probably never be able to afford to buy new clothes again.
  23. Having the same conversation at least twice a day most days:
    – how are you?
    – when are you due?
    – do you know if it’s a boy or a girl?
  24. Having every woman you know insist on sharing their personal birth horror story. (Why?!?!)
  25. Living in a world without caffeine. It’s just wrong.
  26. Reading more books than could possibly be useful on the subject of pregnancy, babies & parenting.
  27. Having an irrational urge to punch your other half almost every time they speak – ‘What do you mean you forgot biscuits!? Have you lost your mind?! Did an alien land their UFO in front of you & ask directions on your way home?! What possible excuse is there for this madness!
  28. Loving your other half & needing them more than ever.

And finally, for me, pregnancy is over.

I’ll post more once we’re home from the hospital & things have settled down. But all is well with Mama, Daddy & Baby. Who was pink, not blue, by the way! Bump never fails to surprise us.


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