Counting sheep ain’t cutting it

First Monday on maternity leave tomorrow. And thank god because it’s 1am & I’m lying here with insomnia.

We’ve done about 15 hours of antenatal (NCT) classes this weekend & another seven last Saturday too. It’s all just swimming round & round in my head. Oxytocin, skin-to-skin, optimum nipple position for breastfeeding, what to pack in the hospital bag…

While we are now completely babied out, I have to say, they were brilliant. Informative, not patronising, interesting & really helpful. The classes included everything from hormones during pregnancy & birth to possible pain relief (or not) options; to getting the dad’s walking round with heavy backpacks on their fronts doing chores to emulate life with a bump & practising massage techniques to help mum-to-be through contractions. The classes weren’t cheap, but Bump’s dad & I both said it was worth every penny.

We’ve also now met another 4 couples all due within a month of Bump who live within walking distance. This is great as we know no one with kids or who’s pregnant or who’s remotely close to having kids.

Feeling on a roll, we started sorting through the spare room / nursery this evening. This started off well. We put baby books on the side, removed the dressing table. We even put the cot together. This felt like a huge thing, a massive step… And then my world came crashing down as we discovered the bedding we’d bought doesn’t fit & the mobile can’t be attached to the cot. And to add insult to injury, I’d bought bumpers to then find out at NCT that they’re now really frowned upon. Then realised we have no way of attaching them to the cot anyway!

You see, in an attempt to be sensible, we opted for a second hand travel cot with bassinet & changing mat fixture. Saves space (& money) while we figure out where we’ll be more long term after this summer & means Bump doesn’t have to worry about getting used to a new cot once he’s outgrown his cradle as we simply lower him further into the cot. Job done.

Only, seeing it all up & not as I wanted with the lovely bedding we’d chosen & mobile we’d been given at the shower made me, for the first time in 8 months, feel we couldn’t offer Bump what we would have wanted. Because if we were doing all this in a few years, settled in our ‘proper’ apartment with time & planning on out side, we wouldn’t need to think about temporary solutions or make shift nurseries. Bump would have his own room, properly decked out just for him.

It seems silly really to get upset over some bedding. Bump’s dad said I was tired & so everything seemed worse than it really was. But I think I just really, really liked the bedding.

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