Caffeine

Hi, I’m Amie & I miss caffeine.

It’s been 21 weeks since my last caffeinated drink. I miss tea like a fat kid misses cake. I’m bored of these herbal-wimpy-teas. I’ve tried decaff coffee but find myself left disappointed. It’s not the same. And sad but true, I miss Coke. Nothing compares on a Thursday afternoon, when you’re struggling to make it through to Friday. That cool, fizzy, sweetness on your tongue. There is no alternative.

I fee like a cake without the baking powder, a curry without naan. I’m a flower without rain or the peanut butter without the jam.

‘Take comfort that you’re doing it for a good cause,’ they say. ‘It’ll be worth it in the end,’ they say. I challenge these ‘theys’ to give up full-caff coffee, tea & Coke for near on 9 months (possibly beyond, if I decide to breastfeed – god help me). See how they like it. ‘Take comfort’ my ass. Just when you discover a whole new level of exhaustion you didn’t know could exist you’re forbidden the sweet nectar that is your daily lifeline.

Men have no idea just how much they owe women. They really, really don’t.

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